Friday, April 30, 2010
The blasting in the ears actually feels good. Makes one forget abt troubles and all the bad/upsetting things which happened. No wonder ppl like to go clubbing - the loud music and the drinks makes you high and forget everything, drugs might work even better, morphine I heard. Instant gratification. And no wonder they get hangover the next day, its back to reality. Yup still need to come back to face it. Whatever the "it" may be.
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I got to stop being selfish. Things do not revolve around me. So many of us would like to go back in time, but we know its not possible. Stop dreaming. It is so difficult. It is so complicated.
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I want to go but I am not ready yet. Everythings too familiar.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Such a blurry long weekend - ANZAC weekend. So many activities lined up. Holidays are definitely more tiring than normal days. Finally had our bs grp's first social at Burwood's Gold Leaf last Sat. The other workers grp had theirs there as well. Our grp complained abt every dimsum on the table, kept comparing to Sharkfin Inn/House in the city. Couldnt finish the food towards the end, had to spin the lazy susan to decide which lucky fellows get the last bits of dimsum. Cant believe we are working/to-be-working ppl. If we were having yum cha with our colleagues and cant finish our food, would we be doing the same thing?? LOL! We complained a lot, but the other grp rather enjoyed the food. Weird. Anyway Sat was a wasted one. Went to Crystal's place to bum arnd after social. Had KFC take away for dinner and rented Rush Hour 2 and 3. Sun wasnt much better. Church, did some stuff in city with chiongs, came back home to shake's burger social, had a run at Princes Park, watched Masterchef (so glad its on again, yay!) while dinner-ing, mussels supper at Belgium Beer Cafe, came back wanted to watch Shutter but somehow ended up watching a malaysian production movie (very glad we didnt watch Shutter), slp. End of Sun. Mon supposed to have another yum cha session with the Albert House ppl, but bad stomachache prevented me from joining them. Felt better in the afternoon, so went to play badminton in uni. It was fun, but I was bad, argh. Attempted to watch Shutter again, but failed, lol. Once again I am glad. Cant really rem what happened at night, only know I was very tired and went to bed early. Slp for almost 9 hours straight. Yup thats abt it, busy busy long weekend. Another busy week, quite a few things lined up once again.
Tue, we suddenly felt like baking smthing, so hsemates and I baked some cupcakes which looked like muffins. Baked for Jamie's grad. We had fun fooling arnd in the kitchen. Failed a couple of times. So tried with a different recipe and it turned out well. Was disappointed with our earlier batches, got tired and wanted to give up, but quite proud of ourselves with this last batch. This feels so much like '07 when I was super free.
cong
rats.
The "o" and "a" got squashed when trying to squeeze them in the lunchbox container. The "t" got smudged. Looks ok from afar though. So look from far far away, haha.
Tried again next afternoon, didnt turn out as well, so left it at home. The choc ganache didnt flow as well as the night before. But it was still fun writing the letters. So many failed cupcakes!
Congrats Jamie =)
Full *Burp* Aching back and shoulders *Ouch* and *Ouch*
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A very random pic of flattened cars on the way back from Frankston this morning, lol.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Hope the dream is not coming true, if not I'll be a sad sad person.
Just had a very strange dream. Very strange pairing of ppl in the dream. Dreams always feels so real at that point of time. When u wake up, its all gone. Learning not to take it too seriously. Dreams are always opposite of the real thing. I hope its right. But I also dont wish its right coz I also dreamt that I was on holiday! Been talking so much abt travelling that I was finally going somewhere in my dreams. Dont know where I was, coz was still checking out, but it doesnt matter, could feel the excitment building up inside me. I was travelling with so many friends, it felt like the sydney trip in 08. Arghhh...I like that trip so much. I know I've been mentioning that a lot lately, but I cant help it. 2008 was a great yr!! "many of us remember the past to escape the present." In denial isnt it.
I woke up this morning feeling a bit...hmm. Maybe I woke up way too early for my standards - 7.30. Received a msg frm a gd gd friend. That just made my day. Nice to be remembered and feeling loved.
Friend wrote me this after friend read my previous entry. "In life, as long as you have a handful of really good friends, that's all you need. doesn't matter about those who come in and out of your life, just care about those who you know will stay in your life forever." Ahh...so true. Not going to bother too much with those who come/came in and out of my life. Move on and get busy with my own life. I miss friend :(
Sunday, April 11, 2010
In a pensive mood.
Hmm..since I cant seem to fall asleep, I'll update this blog of mine. Just had a long chat with hsemate. Havent had that in a long time. I am actually missing those times when we just go to each other's rm and sit there and talk. Hardly have the chance now that everyone's busy and have commitments. It was a nice chat abt things, mainly abt future. I want to drop everything and go travel before starting work. But I know thats not possible. Mum prob wont be too happy if I told her this.
Been thinking why are some ppl more articulate. They know when to say what. They can hold their conversation well. I always admire these ppl. I think I can only talk to a total stranger for a max of 10 mins and I'll run out of things to say. Well unless there is a common ground for us both. Talked to someone abt friendship not too long ago. Like the person, I find it difficult to maintain a friendship. Its like if only 1 person is making the effort and the other is not, its hard to keep this friendship going and you'll give up eventually. Thats when you've lost this gd friend. I used to have friends whom I can talk to abt anything. All these friends are like passer-bys now, ppl who walked thru the different stages of my life. Its sad to think like how close we were last time (do projects/assignments together, randomly going out for meals after class, taking silly photos, talking abt everything, etc), but we all drifted apart now, will feel weird talking. They have their own grp of friends, wherever they are, to keep them busy. Its my fault too, I dont make enough effort in trying to keep these friendships. I am lousy at it. Thats why I feel scared if I were to go back to Sg. Going back to Sg thoughts will take up maybe another hr of my time. Shld prob leave that to the next time. To be continued. Good to pour out my thoughts once in a while.
Argh, this cough is killing me. Slp it off. Let all the nightmares go away.
All my recent posts seem so depressing, thats coz nothing Boomz happened. Shingz. Sorry, in a mood for ris low too.
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Chris Chia was really gd at BHC! Enjoyed all his sermons. Felt so close to home. So close yet so far. Having some sort of of urge to go back to ARPC. Met interesting ppl at the convention. Very friendly too. I always think ppl in Christian camps are friendly and are more accomodating then other camps.
Belgrave made me very tired :(
Its back to reality again.
Been eating so much. I am so greedy.
Redoing my resume. Almost done, hopefully after the beautifying of resume, it'll get me somewhere. Good luck!