Monday, May 31, 2004
the best thing tt happen during placement is tt i dun hv to go back to the sucky place ever again...coz the supervising teacher keeps asking me if the uni had called me, so when i said no, she was like so not happy, so she said she will get the director to call the uni instead. so catherine called to talk to me, saying instead of going back tml for my last day, i go uni. so i end my day todae. i was like super happy, i really hoped tt she can hear how happy i sounded. i dun care if i hv to do the placement all over again. like jess said, i rather go to another place den to stay another day. was so so so relieved. enjoyed myself the most todae out of the days i was there. bye b*tch...not wanting to see u ever again. go back to where u come frm.
yest went to jess' place to complete my folder, but apparently fiona din come in todae, so jess, wat u had helped me yest all went down the drain. sorry abt tt, but thanx for ur help. thanx juen for ur support as well, haha...
Saturday, May 29, 2004
thankyou frendz for being there with me all this time, although not there physically, but i still appreciate it very much. really dunnoe wat will happen to me if i dun hv u frendz around. thanx for all ur concerns.
*thanx jess for being so concerned n so ever helpful. thanx for being there with me n going thru all this rubbish.
*thanx lee-ean for ur support.
*thanx juen for listening to my rubbish yest, n being there for me all this time.
i really dunnoe how to put my appreciation in words, i know u all will understand.
Friday, May 28, 2004
todae is the worst day of my life. i m very sure it will not be the last. i hv no wish to elaborate on it. feel like i m making ppl feel sorry for me. this is not my pt, i juz want to vent out my anger. sorry folks. wat happened todae was tt my supervising teacher told me she is quite sure my placement will not end on tue (which is my last day). she said i will hv to redo the last few days of my placement, n uni will make arrangements for me. apparently uni was supposed to call me yest, but they din. i hope the uni doesn't give a damn abt her. she shld do self-reflection on herself, is she capable of being a supervising teacher? NO!! made my life so miserable, n dun feel like doing anything. like todae i dun feel like going anywhere, so no mood to go for tkd n ocf. on wed also made me no mood for tkd. feeling guilty for not going for the last bible study, but i really not in the mood to go. if i go, i will hv to pretend i m happy n talk to ppl, which i m not ready to speak. TGIF. i will do all my bookwork very very well, n see wat tt b*tch hv to say abt me. seriously hope tt uni doesn't give a shit abt her, n ignore her all the way.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
i want to cry n cry n cry, cry all my heart out, to release wat i had kept inside me for the past few days. i want to slp n slp n slp to forget everything tt happened, all the demoralising things. i want to laugh n laugh n laugh till i m happy.
todae was such a depressing day for me. not only todae, since the start of placement is depressing already. todae is the worst of the worst. tot things wld get better day by day, but unfortunately it turned out to be exactly opposite. my supervising teacher had such great ways to discourage ppl. she had been discouraging me frm day 3 (the 1st day she can't say anything, the 2nd say she wasn't around) for example this morning when the kids r outside playing, i wanted to go into the shed to see wat things can i prepare for my activities, n at the same time i tot i could take a look at the plans n all, den she was saying, 'i'm not very impressed with the way u r handling things, you shld hv done this on the first day when u were here.' ok lah, wat the hell. like i m supposed to know everything, like i shld know where she kept everything??? ok partly is my fault tt i din ask her. but i am a human, i can forget things. pls, at least i got down to do get things done, n there she was saying all these discouraging stuffs. she she was saying one thing which really puts my morale down,'u did not pass this morning.' can't she put it in a more encouraging way? can't she encourage me? i know i hv very low confidence, tt's y i need her support, but there she was telling me off. when i said i was sorry to her, coz i din do wat she wanted me to do, she was telling me there was no use being sorry. at tt time i was so so angry. there i was trying to be nice to her n she was being so hard on me. i feel she is pushing me really too hard. this morning she was aksing me to in charge of the morning routine. she knew the morning wld be the busiest time, n this was my first time, she still din support me. in the end she said she can't pass me. the uni supervising teacher came this afternoon to tk a look. i m so glad she came. her presence was so reassuring. she was asking me how did i feel i did. my first line was, 'my supervising teacher said i m not doing well.' den she said,'dun care wat she said, u tell me how u feel.' when i heard tt, i feel so much more comfortable. i almost want to break down n cry, i can feel the tears coming out. i still din really tell her exactly how i felt coz my supervising teacher was walking in n out of the room. the thing tt made me really angry was tt, my supervising teacher did not once praise me for doing anything. but when the uni supervisor was talking to me, she kept saying,'wanling came up with really great ideas, etc...' i mean how can she do smthing like this. hypocrite. hypocrite. hypocrite. i really tot she was a nice teacher, but....in the evaluation form i muz write a 2000 words essay the REASONS NOT TO SEND ANY students to this kinder. all other staffs can be so nice, except my supervising one. there is one really nice lady. she was constantly asking me, how am i coping, n she was saying get more slp. see how nice she was. y can't my supervising teacher be liddat??? i was constantly missing my 1st placement. although i din really like the 2nd one at first, but in the end i like it. for this one, i juz can't wait to get out. 4 more days to end of the terror world. but i muz state one thing, the kids r really great, love being with them.
i need strength to continue my next 4 days
Sunday, May 23, 2004
this is probably the last time i will blog b4 the terror wk again. maybe if i am really free, i might still sneak up here for a couple a sec.tml will be another long day again. made some play dough for the kids tml. hope the dough is gd, if not too bad lahz, they will hv no dough to play. haven really started on my activities for them, only tried a little bit on fri. 7 more days leh, how to pass???? looking forward to thur, when i will be meetin up with jess n lee-ean again. jess is getting her award, i almost forgot abt it,luckily she reminded me.
i miss everybody so much....frendz in spore, in uni....my family....a lot of my frendz going back for the hols, how lucky can they get?? but at least my hsemates r here, n huimin will be here, which will be gd. looking forward to the hols already, haha...haven even taken exams yet, thinking of hols, juz like juen.
*church was gd todaev :)
Saturday, May 22, 2004
ok first things first. placements. haiz...went for placements on wed. it was like so bad. i did not know what to do at all, so juz stood there. my trick is to alwayz go sit at the table with the kids to join in the activities, so i dun feel so stupidd standing there. gd thing tt it always works for me. the kids r so innocent n cute. think there is one half chinese gal in this kinder (hee, sounds like u huh, jess), n there is a pair of twins. how cute. first time dealing with twin kids. at first when i saw them, i tot how come these 2 gals looks so similiar, can pass off as twins. den ltr heard there are twins crying, ltr den i realised those r the twins in my kinder. anyway the kids r really really great, love them so much. tt's the only thing tt keeps me motivated. the teachers dun really help as much as last time. it is all so much on my own. den on the first day, tt miss 'kiam pa' lady walked to me (we were all outside), she came to me n greeted me, at first i tot she wanted to talk to me or smthing, den ltr she started,'here at the day care centre, we all wear uniforms, so u can't wear jeans or runners. u can wear trousers. n also we need to let ppl know tt u r a student frm melb uni, so maybe u can get those cards which u can write ur name n wear it.' ok wat the &*@%$*. tt time went for the prelimilary visit, saw her n she din say anything, n when i met her, she din even intro herself, until i had to ask her if she was blah blah blah. den my supervising teacher like rather slack also, nv really help, only asked if i had any problems. i mean she was asking me when i had lots of other things in mind, like the kids all around, how m i supposed to tell her. den she din come yest. but things were getting a little better, at least now she tells me wat i m weak in.
hee, i was like lee-ean, when i was putting the kids to slp yest, while i was patting them, i almost fell asleep can. n the children r still wide awake. can't believe they had such a gd chance to rest n they dun want it, how i wish i can swop with them. learnt my lesson, so i had milo mixed with coffee this morning b4 i leave, so i can keep awake thru this long long fri. the caffeine worked for me, din feel tt tired anymore, maybe i shld do tt every morning. had a really long day todae. after kinder, rushed back home to put down my things b4 going for tkd with juen n jeanyhi. the tram ah, chose this time to stop to fix the seats or watever when i was rushing back home. but luckily it din tk long. when reached the sports centre, there was the badminton team occupying 3 out of the 4 badminton courts. so the tkd ppl only had one badminton court to train. trained with justin n wat's his name, daniel or andrew, black belts loh, so like stressed. felt like i dunnoe a lot of those kicks n all. justin kept having to correct me, esp those spinnig hook kicks n even back kicks. those r the worst, alwayz cannot kick the target. gd thing tt justin was correcting me so can learn, if not everytime also dunnoe wat i m wrong. after training rushed for OCF. durin bible study time, was tired, so was also stoning. but was picked on so many times todae, want to hide also cannot. now very tired ah, will be slping soon. hv so much stuffs to do this weekend, all those updating of the file n plannings.
haiz, haiz, haiz....
7 more days to end of placement
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
yeah finally figured out how to put the photos online already...after exploring here n there for the whole afternoon. m i smart or m i smart?? wahahah...okok, watever. oh no, tml is my placement already. i am looking forward to it n dreading it at the same time. really hope the supervising teacher will be nice to me, like my first placement. one last nite of slacking n tml will be a super tiring day for me already. shld slp early tonite. ok i will be in bed by 12. dunnoe how the rest had done for their placements.
Monday, May 17, 2004
so all BECE started their placements to todae, except me a.k.a. the slacker. not my fault also, the centre having the accreditation thing going on, so poor me hv to start on wed instead. really hope they wun want me to go back 2 more days during the study wk. hey not my fault tt i dun want to go for placement. wanted to wake up at 10, but din slp well. not sure y also, kept waking up whenever i change a position, so kept having different dreams. some nice ones *kekeke*so woke up at 11, still din do much things. look thru a bit of the placements things den went to saveway for grocery shopping with hsemates' mum. bought food which can last us for at least 1 to 1 1/2 mths. haha...oh yah had laska for dinner....always have gd food here...
oh no!!!! getting fat!!!! no discipline lahz, howz???
Sunday, May 16, 2004
did nothing todae, frm the time i woke up which was like 2 in the afternoon. had a late nite yest, ok or rather this morning. went for a movie at crown with the tkd ppl. caught the 1 am movie. watched troy. it was okok only lah, not my type of movie. orlando bloom n brad pitt in the same movie. but tt orlando bloom such a coward in the movie, haha...anyway, yest went to watch tkd competition. melb uni had quite a number of participants, including my hsemates lah...but poor juen was in the wrong division, so din get to spar. all of them did well. got quite a no. of gold medals, not sure how many though. congrats to all. the competition ended past 10.30, den after tt took some time deciding where to hv dinner. went correttos for dinner (again...) ha tt was the funniest part. our (round) tables ordered the pizzas, but it all went to the other (square) tables. so the round table ppl, din get to eat much. those ppl at the aquare table din know those pizzas were nt theirs, so watever food came out, they juz said it was theirs. n we gladly tot tt ours were juz not here yet, so we waited patiently, until the waiter said there was no more food coming. wat the heck, all of us so hungry. after tt wasn't much time left, so left for the movies. n when we were in the cinema, our whole row was taken up by ppl. had to chased them away. yeah practically chased them. at first tt 2 aussie couples juz sat there pretending they din hear anything, den ken n yang kept on saying tt was our seats n there were plenty of couple seats around. they still juz kept sitting there. so ken n yang kept saying until they left. b4 they left they still said smthing like, 'stop crawling around us.' wat the heck also lah...we were already late for the movie n missed the front part of troy. movie ended at 3.30 liddat. walked back n after bathing was already 5 am in the morning. so couldn't wake up for church this morning. so todae was juz wasted away. luckily tml i haven start my placement. starting on wed.
*gd luck to all BECE gals for placements
Thursday, May 13, 2004
hee..so happy, my laptop can get online...thanx to my hsemates' mum. gd thinking...anway juz finished my part of c-talp. all rubbish leh i feel. die lah. n now i am super tired. the rest all slept already. i shld slp soon, hv placement briefing tml at 9 am. aiyoh, hair still so wet, hv to blow dry, ltr wake them all up. met up with bible study grp members for lunch in uni. at first it was a little awkard, den ltr when playing the games den not so bad. the games ah, or rather tricks, some of them i noe one, but forgot already. it was gd though. went shopping yest with jess n lee-ean. me n jess bought things, n lee-ean nv buy anything. she really can, i cannot one loh...haiz...slping slping.....tml can't wake up already lah....
Monday, May 10, 2004
this new blog thing is cool...anyway, me, jess n lee-ean went for maths lect todae. haha..but as usual, we dun find it useful, prolly, becoz we were busy with writing names. lee-ean practising her chinese, writing meng zhe's name, n jess, practising you ya you's name, n me listening to lects. haha, like real...set my alarm at 10 this morning, but felt it was too early for me to wake up, so changes it to 11 instead. after waking up not long, got a call frm lee-ean saying she is coming to my place. yah so she was touching up on her maths assignment n ltr thinking abt meng zhe (hahaha). den me juz realising that i haven finish my part of the assignment, so was rushing thru it. jess was sussposed to meet at flinders, but was there early, so she came over my place downstairs. they both very funny. lee-ean forgot which whether it was tram 70 or 75 that she can't take, so she took 48 to be safe. n tt jess, also forgot whether it was 70 or 75, but she took 75. lucky both of them got to my place safely. funny babes. went for lunch at shanghai dumpling hse. ate my favourite noodles again, n had dumplings n preserved veg. noodles. it was gd, juz tt we ate until we were so full. handed in our assignment n left the last one on fri. yeah....
yeah shoppnig tml. i hv lots n lots of things to buy, but money doesn't drop frm the sky, how??
Saturday, May 08, 2004
been busy these few days with assignments. den after assignments, busy with slacking. finally this wk is over. it was a horrible wk with 3 big assignments due by wed. thank god tt i can finish my assignments in time man...still hv 2 more due next wk. the stupid maths is really making me mad. now i still can't do the first qn. stuck on it since yest. muz call jess ltr to ask her again. oh yah speaking abt jess, she got some award for the studies. so smart ah she. (jess dun mind i writing it here huh??) so happy for her n she was so excited when she got the letter. hee...
yah me n lee-ean stayed over at jess' place on thur nite. supposedly, chuin n pearl wanted to go watch movie, but den in the end went cookies (pub on swanston) to have a drink instead. not me n lee-ean lah...i can't drink n lee-ean is a gd gal who doesn't like the taste of alcohol. apparently we saw australian idol hosts there over at the next table. but i din recognise them(din watch tv much), so they were juz like any others to me. but the rest were so excited to see them. bohan picked us up at abt 1+ n we went back to jess place. watched 1 episode of MVP. lee-ean all excited abt XU MENG ZHE. she sae the 5566 poster in my rm n decided tt she like him coz he very cute. so was swooning over him. wahahaha...sorry lee-ean....she also trying to learn 'cun zai' a chinese song by them. had only 3 hrs plus of slp at jess place, coz by the time we slept, it was arnd 4 and woke up at 7.45 (tt ws when the alarm rang, excluding the snoozing time), accompanied jess to her placements. went baker's delight to get some yummy bread n went to starbucks to discuss the stupid maths assignment. spent like so long thinking abt the first qn. jess had to call bohan n lee-ean call her bro (both also smart ppl). in the end now i still not too sure. after tt lee-ean went back n jess accompanied me to my placement at port melb.
i dun like this time's kinder. both the location n the place. port melb isn't too far frm my place, but after getting down frm tram, have to walk like 20 mins or more to get to the kinder. n the ppl there doesn't seem too friendly =( hope things will be fine after i know them lah. came back from port melb with jess n went for TKD. jess went sch look for bohan. after TKD, went OCF. almost slept during the sermon, hungry as well. during bible study discussions, i spent almost the whole time stoning. after OCF went for to crown to watch Van Helsing with tkd peeps. read frm wanli's blog, tt she simply loved the movie. i found it not bad, rather interesting in fact. slept at arnd 4 again, n woke up at 2+. haha...now printing out all the lect notes. n so fast dinner time soon. hungry again.
maths soon. bleh...
man, i m so long-winded...watever.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
ok this is interesting, juz found smthing for jess to do, which i think i shldn't coz we still hv assignments due by tml!!!! my hands r feeling cold now.....done cog. up till methods there already. oh no, tt's so dead-meat. oh yah todae's IT tut was gd. this is the first time i did things n understood. but i think by the next time i go back forgot already. the microworld is fun, but difficult to manage lah. will explore my way around. really got to leave here. ciao.
You're Zax Wang!
Which 5566 member are you?
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for u again, jess, see if u can be sun xie zhi.....hahahaha....but i doubt so....
Monday, May 03, 2004
can't believe i m here...shld be doing cognitive now lah. ok after this. skipped maths lect todae. supposed to do cog. but as usual in the afternoon can't concentrate lah. no is not ur fault jess...muz emphasis, if not u think ur fault, den next time dun want to come my place already. tt jess really crazy abt westside story, 1000000 times more crazy den me. haha...oh yah thanx lee-ean for ur yummy cookies. yah thanx for thinking for our health huh, haha...ok lah, gtg, see u gals. gd luck in essays.
Oh!! You're Gao Xing who loves basketball!!
Which character are you in My Mvp Valentine?
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testing....
Saturday, May 01, 2004
realised tt a lot of ppl using black background for their blogskin. ok tt was juz a comment showing tt i tk notice to things, haha...went for lunch at shanghai dumpling restaurant with jeanyhi n jk. yah finally treated them already, but i m still owing edwin one, he din turn up todae. maybe he decided tt he doesn't want his treat, hahaha...aiyoh, tt place ah, tot was very gd, but the service was rather bad. ordered the dishes, den at first the waitress came with 2 dishes, one is jk's the other one was wrong, so she went back. we waited like maybe 20 mins for our food, but none arrive, so jeanyhi asked the waitress, n after a while the dumpling came, we were like ok, let's eat this first, den when we finished still haven arrived. asked them again, finally the food came. how horrible the service. oh yah wanted to watch juen's performance at federation sq. this afternoon, but was there late, so missed it, n me n jeanyhi had to meet jk, so can't wait for the next performance. haiz...so sad missed it. but i think it shld be gd huh, juen.
doing all the readings for TLP, super sianz...haven started on dimensions n cognitive essays, die!!!
*todae is a cold cold day, hope tml will be better